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  ©KATARINA SIMOVIC/ STOCKSY UNITED 

 

 

 

 [Life](/life) 

 



 /  25 January 2021  

#  The Ultimate Guide To Oral Sex  


 Everyone wants great sex to come naturally but putting in some extra effort can make all the difference. SLMan spoke to two sex experts to discover their golden rules for oral sex and here’s what they said…  
 

 



 

  ©KATARINA SIMOVIC/ STOCKSY UNITED 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

### Focus On Foreplay

“Unless it’s clear she wants you to forego foreplay, it’s always worth incorporating this. If there’s any resistance from her or if it seems like she’s mentally checking out, slow down and dedicate more time to foreplay. Pay attention to what she likes – this may be cuddling, kissing or even pleasuring you first. Exploring and asking questions are the best ways to find out. Mastering the art of teasing is vital – if her pelvis and vagina aren’t showing enthusiasm, slow down and put more effort into foreplay.” – *[Hot Octopuss](https://www.hotoctopuss.com/)*

### Know How To Use Your Tongue

“Remember every woman is different. As a general rule, always check in with your partner and be open to feedback. To play it safe, start with a broad, soft tongue and work from the outside in. That means starting at the outer labia, moving towards the inner labia. Unless you know your partner likes you to go for the clitoris or vaginal opening early on, it’s better to wait until she’s visibly warmed up. In general, avoid going right for the clitoris and try not to stimulate the clitoris under the hood, especially with a hard tongue – these are some of the most common mistakes men make when it comes to oral sex. Understand what and where her hood is – do not push it back unless she wants it. This can be the difference between show-stopping orgasms or excruciating pain.” *– The experts at Hot Octopuss*

### Master The Basics

“When it comes to techniques, there are three to master. Firstly, know it’s fine to just stay on the surface; just lick from the vaginal entry to the top of the clitoris. Secondly, consider exploring the clitoral hood. It feels like a little stem, which you can slide from left to right with your tongue; play with your tongue, stroking the stem horizontally. Thirdly, if you’re feeling confident, try tapping the tip of the clitoris with your tongue, giving a few strokes. You can also gently lift the clitoral hood with one of your hands. For those who have mastered this, try shaking your hand that holds the hood, which will create a gentle vibration-like effect. At all stages, compliment and communicate with your partner – this will allow them to relax and enjoy whatever it is you’re doing.” – *Laurène Dorléac, founder, [Climax](https://climax.how/)*

### Forget About The Climax

“For many women, stress can get in the way of orgasm, so take the pressure off. Making them feel like they have to perform an orgasm can be off-putting. Taking your time with foreplay, to the point where it feels like she is about to come, is often the most effective way to elicit an orgasm. You may need to provide G-spot stimulation alongside oral sex to get the crescendo she’s looking for. Try lying on your back and have your partner ride your face. It’s likely you won’t be able to provide vaginal penetration in this position, and it’s more work for your partner, but it can lead to powerful and distinctly different orgasms for her. Try to avoid making her orgasm about you – she may or may not come, and that’s perfectly fine. What’s important is that she feels safe and fulfilled.” *– Hot Octopuss*

### Take It Slow

“Hands are incredible tools and should be your number one go-to. Before your mouth even gets involved, you should use your fingertips. You could try squeezing the two outer labia between your fingers, rubbing them together in little circles; or applying pressure to the outer labia in the direction of her pelvic floor, rubbing in a circular motion. Once your mouth is involved, your hand technique will change – using the back of your nails to tickle the outer labia can feel good while your tongue and lips do the rest. Don’t be afraid to use lube at any point if you feel this may help.” *– Hot Octopuss*

### Think About The G-Spot

“Consider pairing oral sex with a ‘come hither’ gesture with your fingers – try initiating the motion from your elbow, rather than by curling and straightening your fingers. This will save you fatigue and feel better for your partner. While flexing and extending the elbow joint, keep the curve of your fingers a bit flatter than the traditional ‘come hither’. You want the pressure coming more from the underside of your furthest knuckles than from the fingertips.” *– Hot Octopuss*

### Frustration Is Good

“Try to make your partner yearn for arousal. Play with frustration by stimulating the erogenous zones – think the top of the neck and the ears. Unless the receiver asks for it, don’t go too fast or too hard at first. And always start by using the entire surface of your tongue, never just the tip.” – Laurène

### Try A Toy

“If you find oral sex is getting her right up to the edge but not quite pushing her over, this could be the moment to bring in a vibrator. Sit back, give yourself a break, and use both your hands on her while she uses a toy on herself. If this happens, forget feeling like a failure that you couldn’t make her come yourself – it can actually be really pleasurable to watch a partner pleasure themselves while you lend a helping hand.” *– Hot Octopuss*

### Multiple Orgasms Are Possible

“While some women can have multiple clitoral orgasms, the majority of women come with multiple G-spot orgasms before finishing with a clitoral orgasm. This is because the clitoris can become too sensitive to be touched after its first orgasm, whereas this isn’t the case with G-spot and anal orgasms. Just avoid putting pressure on her to come multiple times in short order. Take your time and don’t be afraid to take breaks in between each orgasm, using other means of stimulation for both of you.” *– Hot Octopuss*

### Finally, Create Surprise

“Always remember to vary your movements – by speed, pressure and rhythm – as variation will create renewal. If you touch the same place for a long time, both the vulva and clitoris will get used to it, but varying the movements and techniques you use will create surprise and new sensations.” *– Laurène*

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*For further inspiration, visit [HotOctopuss.com](https://www.hotoctopuss.com/) and [Climax.How](https://climax.how/)*

 

 

 

 

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