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 [Life](/life) 

 



 /  17 July 2024  

#  How To Give Your Partner An Orgasm  


 Helping your partner to orgasm might be easier than you think. Three experts gave us their tips for getting the result you both want…  
 

 



 

  Photography: STUDIO FIRMA/STOCKSY UNITED 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

## Do Your Research

“Ask your partner if there’s anything they know that works well for them when it comes to pleasure and orgasms. Are there specific positions or techniques that have been successful in the past? Any body language you should be looking for in terms of what’s working or not working? For the best results, have this conversation outside of the bedroom for a more clear, thoughtful chat. Pro tip: continue inquiring with your partner during sex to see if you are on the right track.” – *Amy Baldwin, sex expert at* [*Überlube*](https://uberlube.com/)

## Keep Things Lubricated

“Arousal oils are a great tool for enhancing arousal, relaxation and sensation, which can then lead to bigger and better orgasms. These topical oils or serums are great for partners who might struggle with anorgasmia or other sexual arousal disorders. Our [Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD](https://www.foriawellness.com/products/awaken-arousal-oil) contains all-natural ingredients that promote blood flow and muscle relaxation, so you can lean into pleasure in the moment.” – *Kiana Reeves, chief education officer at* [*Foria*](https://www.foriawellness.com/pages/kiana-reeves)

“Have high-quality lubricant on hand and use it anytime the genitals are being touched through skin-on-skin contact or with sex toys. The genitals are mucous membranes that prefer touch through moist surfaces, so great lube can increase pleasure for all parties because it stays silky while simultaneously decreasing friction and enhancing sensation.” – *Amy*

## Play Around With Foreplay

“Everyone’s roadmap to arousal looks a little bit different, so if your partner is having trouble orgasming, try experimenting with different types of foreplay to help them relax and feel more in touch with their body. Use an oil for a sensual massage, or take a bath together to reinforce intimacy. This will give both of you time to enjoy being in the moment with one another and connect on multiple levels, which is often important for reaching orgasm later on.” – *Kiana*

"Foreplay is incredibly important when it comes to orgasms for both men and women – around 20 minutes is the ideal length of time. Neglecting the clitoris is a huge mistake, as it can be a challenge for some people to climax solely from intercourse. For men, gently stroking or pressing a finger against the anus can lead to a quicker orgasm, or even stimulating the testicles can do the trick.” – *Holly Wood, sexologist at* [*BedBible*](https://bedbible.com/)

## Be Present

“I believe the best lovers show up to sex with a high level of curiosity and presence. Great sex can feel like an erotic embodied meditation where all parties are putting their focus on the sensations that are happening as opposed to the thoughts in their heads. If you’ve never meditated inside or outside of sex, take on a simple daily meditation practice. All it takes is 5-10 minutes a day for a few days a week to up your skills as a more present person and lover.” – *Amy*

## Switch Up Your Routine

“Especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, it can be fun to switch up your ‘normal’ sex routine. Try suggesting some new positions to your partner, or see if they’re comfortable introducing sex toys for something new and fun. The novelty of a new experience can be very arousing, so this is a great way to find ways to orgasm for both of you. Just be sure to get your partner’s consent before trying anything new.” – *Kiana*

## Try A Toy

“Toys like vibrators are an excellent accessory in the bedroom and can be used to stimulate the clitoris to reach a more intense sexual climax. Clitoral suction toys are also a great choice as they encourage blood flow to the clitoris by creating airflow and pressure, which in turn increases sensitivity and makes an orgasm much more likely. Men will benefit from accessories like glass toys, vibrating anal plugs and anal beads that can trigger the prostate gland for the ultimate orgasm.” – *Holly*

## And Relax

“Stress levels play a significant part in libido, arousal and climax, so if you or your partner are feeling particularly tense, achieving an orgasm will be a challenge. However, sexual fantasies can be the perfect way to escape from reality. Multi-partner sex, cosplaying or sex in an atypical location (where legal) are some of the many fantasies that you can try to enhance the sexual experience between you and your partner once consent has been established.” – *Holly*

 

 

 

 

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